Philosophy & Practice
Nonviolence is a philosophy and a daily practice.
It is an entirely new paradigm for the adult-child relationship. It is a move from our society’s dominant paradigm of conditional parenting to nonviolent parenting. Conditional parenting is all around us; parents either punish or reward children for their behavior. If children are good, they get approval and a reward. If they are bad, attention is withdrawn and they are punished. This conditional parenting undermines a child’s sense of self worth and self -dignity as a vital, alive, feeling human being.
Nonviolent parenting offers an optimal relationship and the conditions in which children can thrive and grow into healthy adults. By building a tight emotional bond of understanding, nurturing, support, trust, warmth and compassion, a child reaches a high level of emotional development. The tools of nonviolent parenting respect the science of early brain development and are grounded in the knowledge that to raise healthy children, adults must be in relationship with children through the giving of unconditional connection. Respecting the science of brain development fosters a deep respect of the life force of all living creatures. It teaches connection and support between adults and children in the most profound way possible.
Why We Practice
At birth, most people love their children deeply, and love is essential to infant brain development, determining whether or not a child will thrive later in life. Yet, this love gets compromised by a lot of things; stress, fear, poverty, racism, unresolved problems or a parent’s own unresolved childhood trauma. Nonviolence helps the adult to mange all that disconnects them from feeling, thinking and experiencing the child. It supports the adult. It teaches them to step back and celebrate their child when anger, anxiety and withdrawl threaten their connection. It gives parents tools to break their own cycle of violence and projections from their childhoods, and this is a very, very profound thing. It teaches the language of emotional literacy. A dialogue that immerses the adult in emotional connection to child; feelings, needs and modeling behavior for children. It makes space for the emotional process of a child in the adult’s life. It stresses the understanding of child development, encourages a clear whole picture of the child with the ultimate goal of staying connected. It builds a structure of family values that emphasize safety, support and values with limits that do not constrict the child, but support learning and development.
We believe that if children are raised with care; we are teaching children to care for themselves, others, and the wider community. Thus, our simple slogan:
Raising Children With Care, Raising Children To Care
